Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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