i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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