Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
