i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy