Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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