some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am