it wasn't lemon gatorade
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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