Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
