but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
