fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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