No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
