Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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