I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
