I think I am morally bankrupt
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
