no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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