Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize