My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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