Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
