I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Watching her eat just hurts me
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
