No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
