Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
