wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think my vagina is haunted
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
