you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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