Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
