Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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