i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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