3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
