That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
