Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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