Small penises have feelings too.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
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The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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