i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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