And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
