I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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