I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
