Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
