today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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