All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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