OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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