I can text with my tongue
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
