I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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