I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
