I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize