I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
