my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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