The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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