It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
