her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
