I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
