Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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