she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you mean i was at the winter classic?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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