i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
