I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize