dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
