i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
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How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
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I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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