Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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