i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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