Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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