Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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