Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
