Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
