I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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