I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
