So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
