Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
