Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
