The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
