I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
