Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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