mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
